Faux Rocky Mountain Oysters

Faux Rocky Mountain Oysters

I have a very broad appreciation of the unusual when it comes to food. I have tasted Rocky Mountain Oysters with a horseradish dipping sauce while vacationing in Colorado. And I enjoy offering a ‘not frequently prepared’ food item at my dinner parties. Faux Rocky Mountain Oysters will be the highlight of a very memorable dinner party. The dish is inexpensive, unusual, fun and tasty.

Turkey gizzards is the main meat ingredient–nothing at all like real Rocky Mountain Oysters but your friends won’t know that.

Turkey gizzards are available year round if you ask. 4 pounds yielded 32 “oysters” ( I am picky about the shape). Left over meat makes a nice stew.

1. Wash the gizzards and put them in a large pot.

2. Add finely diced vegetables, equaling 1/4 the weight of the meat. Onions, carrots and celery. Bell peppers, garlic or leeks may also be included. This is strictly personal preference.

3.To punch up the flavor add your favorite sauce. The one I would suggest in *ANY* variation is the Oyster flavor sauce. It is a great flavor and it is one that many people don’t have in their every-day foods. The trick here is a light hand with any one sauce. Too much of any one flavor detracts from the experience for your guests.

Use just enough water to cover the meat and veggies with water. Start the pot on the stove, bringing it to a simmer. This will take an hour off the cooking time.

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Cover the pot and bake in the oven for more than two hours. When the halves pull fairly easily by hand, they are ready. If you need a knife or even if you need to pull too hard, cook an hour longer. Let the pot cool on top of the stove for two hours to re-absorb some liquid and flavor. After they cool pull apart the pieces and grade them by roundness and size.

Pick the largest and roundest of the pieces for the next stage. We need to do everything we can to maintain the illusion that these pieces of meat are Rocky Mountain Oysters (steer testicles). 8 to a pound are the average.

4. The most fun is beer batter coating. Select any oven bake coating, shake and bake or the equivalent. Follow the instructions to coat and bake your Faux Rocky Mountain Oysters. The oven baked has a very interesting texture if you are serving a person who *won’t* eat fried food but *will* eat testicles.

5. My Horseradish Dipping Sauce
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon dry mustard
3 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
1/2 cup nonfat sour cream

I hope that you will try making Faux Rocky Mountain Oysters. Besides being fun, they are really quite tasty.

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